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Verbal Abuse Essay

2369 words - 9 pages

Verbal abuse has become quite common in relationships; it is believed to be most frequently imposed on women by their boyfriends or husbands. There are many examples of women who are quite verbally abusive as well. For the sake of simplicity of pronouns in this paper, I will identify the abuser as male and the victim as female. Reading though the literature and articles it was obvious that it isn't as well known as physical abuse, but is viewed as type of emotional abuse.Emotional abuse is as damaging as physical abuse, though it is harder to recognize, and as a result harder to recover from. It was interesting to see how emotional abuse causes long term self esteem issues and profound emotional repercussions for the partners of abusers. Self-esteem is worn down, sense of options evaporates, self-care is compromised, and the power of choice is eroded. (Engel, 1990).Furthermore, it is amazing how emotional abuse affects an individual even if it doesn't mean leaving black eyes or visible bruises. It is more seriously damaging than one may think to ones self-image. It is cruel and scars ones soul. Over time the victim loses her equilibrium and begins to wonder if she is the one who is crazy. At this point I would like to refer to a passage I ran into by Beverly Engel (1990) in the literature, which paints a perfect picture of emotional abuse."Emotional abuse is any behavior that is designed to control another person through the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assault. It can include verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics like intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased." It is very similar to brainwashing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self -worth, trust in perceptions, and self-concept. "Whether it be by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of "guidance", or teaching, the results are similar. Eventually the recipient loses all sense of self and all remnants of personal value."One becomes so beaten down emotionally that blame is brought upon oneself for the abuse. Some of the points brought up in the literature was how the abuse victims can become so convinced that they are worthless that they believe no one else could want them. They stay in this situation because they believe they have nowhere else to go. Their ultimate fear is being all-alone. With this point in mind I found myself thinking how could this be? Agreeing with this statement was not what I found myself doing. The literature indicated much vulnerability that the victim may go through but I don't believe one cannot leave the relationship because of fear of being alone. I felt the victim was so minimized as an individual that they were not given a chance to be justified. (Evans, 1996).One may not be able to leave the relationship because of something happening to them by the abuser or people around then don't listen to cues provided for help. Many times...

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