“You can say stop at any time, even one second before starting that.” Dr. John stared into Ivan’s eyes and said seriously.
“ Well, thank you for mentioning it a million times,” Ivan shrugged his shoulders and started playing with his fingers. “But I already made this decision, and I’m not going to change my mind anyway. Also…”
“Come on! How about Linda? Are you sure you gonna leave her in this world alone.” Dr. John interrupted Ivan’s speech and asked.
Instead of replying him, Ivan turned his head and looked at the clock that hanged on the wall. As he listened sounds of the passing times, the dread engulfed his body and gradually swallowed him down. Suddenly, the irritating smell of the medicine pulled him out from the abyss of terror. Ivan couldn’t even remember how long had him being in this white, quiet and lifeless room. It was just like a jail that ruined his whole life and bonded him. Everything in the room was so pale that caused him to think that did he already dead or not.
“You know what? I can feel my body cells are dying; I can hear the whisper of death every night, but I can do nothing about it! I know it would be unfair to Linda, but I don’t want to survive, I want to live! So that’s the only thing I can do, and it will be too late to wait until everything gets worse.” Ivan buried his head into his arms and spoke in a trembling voice. After a while, he faked up a smiling visage that looked so fragile and seemed like it would vanish at any second. Now he was back to that optimistic man again. However, the desperation and sadness reflected from his eyes had expressed his real emotion.
Suddenly, the door opened and a little girl ran in with a lightning speed. She jumped onto the bed and hugged Ivan with all her strengths.
“Daddy! I missed you so much!” Linda gave him a kiss and continued, “Hope you can get well soon! Umm… Oh! I won the second place of the spelling bee today! I’m so excited!” Ivan laughed as he watched his daughter smiled mischievously in his arms and talked like a noisy bird.
“ Linda, no matter what happens, just remembers Daddy will always love you. Oh, and don’t forget to keep smiling.” Ivan gazed at Linda’s contagious laughing face and said.
“Ok! I will keep my smiling face on forever!” To prove what she just said, she showed him an exaggerated smile immediately. This behavior made these two people started laughing crazily. However, Linda didn’t notice the complicated expression that Ivan showed when he heard the word “forever.”
One day, when Dr. John entered Ivan’s room, he saw Ivan was writing a lot of cards. However, it looked like it took much energy for him to write those cards. He kept dropping the pen while he was writing and his forehead was full of sweat.
“What are those cards for?” Dr. John asked curiously.
“Well, you know that I’m gonna leave soon… And I realize my hands are slowly losing their functions, which is what I’m ‘expecting’ the most. Therefore, I decided to write a bunch of...