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Trying To Find Peace After Grief And Abuse

1827 words - 7 pages

Here I am on this path to discovery as I start my first semester at MSU, I unknowingly signed up for a very eye opening course while on my journey to figure out who and what I am going to be in life. The ITP program specifically the Holistic Health class has helped me to realize and optimize my journey. I started my journey of discovery in the medical field as a pharmacy compound technician and after 10 years, the perpetual situations just got to me. I kept seeing the same sickness affecting the same people and the same protocol for treatment by the physicians. This viscous circle was an unfulfilling way of thinking for me. I knew I wanted more than just a band-aid effect, I didn’t realize it but I was looking for a holistic view. I decided to leave it all behind and start school so I could find what would be more fulfilling for me. I could not just settle with the mentality I was surrounded by in allopathic medicine alone. While I do have some negative feelings about the systems involved in conventional or traditional medicine, I would never trade the experience and opportunities I had. I worked close with doctors and pharmacists on the clinical level. I prepared compounds for specific needs like chemotherapy or a certain dosage that is not already produced or if patients have allergies to dyes. All of this experience I have in the allopathic world will carry over into a well rounded career after gaining the knowledge I am gaining in my college. College is offering many ways for me to look at the world through experiences with others and the courses I take. I mentioned earlier I signed up for Holistic Health without realizing what it entirely entailed. I am at a place in my life of reflection so this course is actually the perfect class for me to be in. I was struggling with a path in my education and personal journeys. I was having insecurities and fears that many of the topics in class helped me sort out. Specifically I am reflecting on two of the six dimensions of health; physical and psychological health. I believe for me they are affecting each other. I have health issues, I am just going to say it, I have had them since I was a child. After learning more about emotional imbalances and disease prone personalities, it got me thinking more. In reflection of my life and how my emotions contribute to my disease state, I realized that my focus on my phobias is making it harder to heal from the illness I am currently having. I am working on these phobias but the stress they cause is slowing my healing process and causing physical symptoms that also worsens the situation. I have phobias around food, cleanliness, and contamination. Strangely I am only slightly worried about catching something, but I am more grossed out about unclean things. I am nervous in groups/crowds or in some stores. These stressors cause an overreaction of my immune system and trigger symptoms. I get fatigue, pain and stiffness along with digestive problems. I have an...

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