Wedding Speech - Best Man
Afternoon everyone, firstly, the city council have asked me to request
that, for health and safety reasons, none of you get up on top of the chairs
and tables during my standing ovation.
I'm sure you'll all admit this has turned out to be a fabulous wedding
celebration, yet every silver- lining does have a cloud, and that is,
unfortunately that you've all got to listen to me for a few minutes.
I'd just like to start by thanking everyone on behalf of the Bride and
groom, for sharing their wedding day, although personally I wish you'd all
stayed at home, because things would have been a lot easier on me.
I'd also like to thank you George, on behalf of the bridesmaids for your kind
words and also my personal thanks for giving me the opportunity to dress
like Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen and for finally admitting after all these
years that I am the best man.
This book tells you to start all speeches with a joke & I promise I'll start
shortly. It also says that you are the most forgiving audience & you'll
laugh at the lamest joke. Over the next 10 minutes I will be severely
testing this theory.
...I was really nervous before hand, so I prepared a few lines - and having
snorted them I'm feeling pretty good right now...
I didn't think I was going to be that nervous but believe me this is not the
first time today that I've stood up from a warm seat with a bit of paper in
my hand. I think that George for all his macho talk has been feeling the same
way too. After following him into the toilet this morning, I had to pull
this out the loo. (brick)!
Anyway a few words about the main man himself:
George and I go back some 14 years now, and in that time he has always kept me
and the rest of the lads entertained. He is, and I think most of you that
know him will agree, pretty much your typical lad. During his bachelor day's
he was the only guy I knew that had a pool table in the front room, a
scalectrix in the loft, and 2 fridge's, one for non essentials such as
foodstuffs and the other dedicated purely to chilling the boys beer. I
still think the scalextrix in the loft was just a ruse to watch the girls on
the toilet as the hatch was in the bathroom and whenever they needed to go
you could never get the loft hatch shut as the ladder was in the way.
In fact I guess many of us assumed he would always remain a single man -
certainly that's what he would have you believe, always professing that he
would be the last man standing where marriage was concerned. So it was quite
a surprise when he told me he was getting married.
We may be asking ourselves what Julie sees in George, I know I regularly do!
But they say love is blind and marriage is a real eye opener, so I'd like to
say, George, you are a lucky man, marrying Julie today. She deserves a good
husband...... unfortunately you got to her before she had a chance to find
Actually, while wondering what to say this...