What is Love?
Is love chemical?
Love can't be just pheromones, surely body chemistry changes. Although, perhaps that is why people break up after a while. Maybe they were attracted to each other at one point, but then the pheromones they were giving off change and the other person is no longer attracted to them.
What is attraction based on? What attracts one person to another?
People have said they have fallen in love before meeting in person, thanks to the Internet. Pheromones can't account for that. If someone falls in love, without meeting the other person (in-person), what is left? Voice, a photo or two, etc. Perhaps attraction is oral. But attraction can't be just voice, because plenty of people are attracted to people they have only seen in photos.
It seems like attraction is a very multifaceted concept. People fall in love without meeting
Can anyone fall in love without meeting the other person? Can someone fall in love with someone they have seen only in a photo?
This seems unlikely, so perhaps love is based on being attracted to someone in more than one way. If more than one level of attraction is required, what combinations exist?
Visual attraction – physique, mannerisms. Oral attraction – voice, but not content. Chemical attraction – pheromones.
This leaves out personality. What about intelligence, humor, kindness? The very content of what one person says to another, would hopefully account for a lot.
Are there some combinations of attraction that lead to love versus other combinations that will not? Would someone be attracted to an individual with a great body, a grating voice, and a lukewarm sense of humor?
When I think of the worst possible combinations, I come back to thinking of people in abusive relationships. I imagine that those people say they love the other person, even during times of abuse. To me this doesn't feel like it can be the same love as a couple in a healthy relationship.
Although Helen Fisher divides love into three categories, lust, attraction, and attachment, these categories don't help in determining what love is or how and why we are attracted to some people and not others. Her categories give us tools for putting romantic love into context, but not in explaining what love, unless you accept that it's solely brain responses to a person. That feels like the whole chicken and the egg discussion. What will you react to? What will you be attracted to? What will get brain activity going? Cause and effect. What Dr. Fisher discusses is the effect of love, but not what it is.
Lust (or sex drive), is physical, but does it come solely from physical attraction? Attraction is one of her categories, but why are people attracted to each other? And finally attachment, why do we feel attached to some people?
What is falling in love, and out of love? How do we measure love? How is loving someone different from being in love with someone?