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What Is Love? Essay

1424 words - 6 pages

Upon examination of the vast amounts of theories on love I can only find myself in a more convoluted state. Love is in fact a great mystery to me, and I have only achieved frustration in trying to explicate it. In Scott Peck's book The Roadless Traveled there are a conglomerate of avenues that are explored within the topic of love. It is here that some insight is expressed to me about this perplexing subject. Although I do feel that actual life experiences that I have been involved in recently have attributed to a better understanding of this love phenomena, some of the ideas that are expressed in this book were of tremendous merit. I find it almost prophetic that this assignment happens to fall into the same time frame as when I am at a point of heightened curiosity on this subject of Love. Why at this very moment I find myself questioning my current status with a newfound relationship. I can't help but to assume that I have found 'Genuine Love' because of an overwhelming feeling of vivacious content upon finding a seemingly perfect union. Peck's views on love in this respect differ from what my thoughts have conjured up as such. And I can only infer that the words of a reputable author and doctor are more legitimate than mine. It is here that I must stop to apologize to you, Louis, for making this part of the paper far too personal than necessary.'Falling in Love' is a common myth in this society. The actual act of falling in love, according to Peck, is a misconception. There is a differentiation to be made between what is termed 'falling in love' and the act of real loving. Peck describes exactly what it is that we experience when We think we have fallen in love. Much of what Peck describes as falling in love has to do with what he calls 'ego boundaries'. These ego boundaries are established during infancy and continue to develop throughout the person's life. These boundaries represent an individual's limits with their mental and physical power, as they are perceived by the individual. With these ego boundaries many people feel confined into their own personal identity which generally creates a feeling of loneliness. A need to form a cathexis is then developed. Peck describes it thus, 'The essence of the phenomenon of falling in love is a sudden collapse of a section of an individual's ego boundaries, permitting one to merge his or her identity with that of another person. The Sudden release of oneself from oneself, the explosive pouring out of oneself into the beloved, and the dramatic surcease of loneliness accompanying this collapse of ego boundaries is experienced by most of us as ecstatic. We and the beloved are one! Loneliness is no more!' Pg.87Now it is not to say that the feeling of having fallen in love means that there in no hope for true love to grow from it. Many loving relationships do form on these grounds. However, It is after the inevitable diminishing of this fervent emotional overload that true love is put to the test, and...

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