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What Makes A Successful Marriage Essay

2730 words - 11 pages

The summer before my freshman year of high school, my mother called me and my two sisters into the living room. We were all confused as to this surprise family meeting. My mom began to speak beginning with the words, “This is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to tell you girls...” Now, myself, becoming highly concerned; my mother continued with, “Your father and I are getting a divorce.”
This was some surprising and hard news to take in. I just sat there puzzled, asking myself questions like, “How long was this planned?” or, “What happened between my parents?” These questions were vaguely answered. However, my mother slightly explained that it would be a “friendly” divorce.
Close to four years later now, my parents are both in new and happy relationships, my eldest sister is newly engaged, and my youngest sister and I are also doing just fine. I haven’t ever been too emotional about my parents’ divorce, but it still has affected me however. It has frightened me for my future, and I wonder if I will ever find the right person to marry. For if my parents get a divorce after three children and seventeen years of marriage, what could then be the definition of love? Is there any hope for me having a lifetime of happiness with a spouse? My parent’s divorce has dedicated me though, to be careful in the decision of whom I choose to marry when that time comes. I wanted to do my own research, and figure out how couples make it work for a lifetime. Granted there isn’t one right answer, but I believe there might be certain characteristics that help a marriage stand strong, and I want to believe that people can still be as happy with their spouse forty years down the road, as they were when they first fell in love.
To begin my research, I interviewed a 21 year old, newly engaged man, Matt Pederson. I wanted to know why and how he fell in love in the first place. I began by asking a basic question, “Why would you rather be married than single?” He gave typical answers like, “well two is better than one” or, “you will never have to be alone,” answers someone might expect. However he then began going into further detail talking about how he wants to start a family, and how he would like to have someone to lean on, and to have a second opinion on decisions as he figures out the rest of his life. These answers made sense to me, answering my sarcastic question, “why would anyone want to get married in the first place?”
Matt also gave some common answers when asked about the qualities he thinks makes his fiancé a person to live with for a lifetime. He listed characteristics such as a kind heart, and a sense of humor. He began to dig deeper though, explaining to me how, specifically, his fiancé is playful at heart, and likes to be goofy, but is also smart and very mature when it comes to important matters. I was curious to know if they had either more similarities or more differences with each other, wondering if opposites really do attract. He said,...

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