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"What We Talk About When We Talk About Love." By Raymond Carver.

1017 words - 4 pages

What Do You Expect?When I think about what love means, it only brings about confusion. Love is the most abstract of all our emotions. There are so many different types of love, so many different ways to feel love, so many different ways to give love. That really makes it hard for me to make any concrete statements about it. For one thing, if I were to focus on one aspect of love, it would not be enough. One really has to take this subject on from every angle in order to illustrate the full picture. I can only try my best to merely scratch the surface. The story I will be focusing on as I try to delve into this subject is Raymond Carver's "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love." In this story, there were many different ideas and opinions being expressed, all of which are relevant and worth exploring. My philosophies on a lot of things have changed over the past couple years. As I see it now, love is what you make it and what you want it to be. I think that preconceptions about love are the reason for most conflicts in relationships. Love is all about your expectations.A tough question to answer first of all is what kind of love could almost anyone see, and agree on, as true love? Is there a universal true love? Love is different for every person. One way of looking at it is that love between two people is each person's single and individual perception that they are in love. So all it takes for someone to be in love is for them to believe it. It's like believing in God. Or even the air we breathe. You may not see it but you just know that it is there. If you truly believe something, whether it be God or love there should be nothing to come between that faith. Knowing this, it's not hard for me to understand that someone can be in love without being in the best of circumstances. Even in extremely horrible situations such as mental or physical abuse. Of course a person can only take so much until the feelings once felt so intensely fade, and you must move on for the sake of your own well being. The fact that you were in love doesn't change though, and no one has the right to doubt that it was true "for you." In the story, Terri talked about her relationship with Ed who was at times physically abusive. She insisted that even though he hurt her, she still felt that they truly loved each other. Mel could not grasp that. "That's not love," he said, "I don't know what you'd call it, but I sure know you wouldn't call it love." Normally, a person would expect that if you cared about someone that much, you would never do anything to hurt them. But it is a sad fact that sometimes you hurt the...

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