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Why Are The Homeless Homeless? A Satire

1116 words - 5 pages

There are many homeless people out on the streets of the large cities inthis great nation. When unemployment still hasn't gotten near zero and newjobs are being created every day, people are starting to ask why there arestill homeless people in the alleys and on the sidewalks of this country.This seems to be an ever haunting problem even though it would be so easy forhomeless people to just get a job. Let's look at the general requirements forapplying for and keeping a job. All you have to do is have nice clothes tomake a decent impression, a home address and some way to be reached in tightsituations, and a way of getting to work in the morning or night--whicheverthe case may be. That's it. ...view middle of the document...

That justmeans they'll have to cope with eating only what they find in the garbage, andnot spending any of that extra cash on that frivolous fast food, or thathealthy vegetable stuff. Suppose they absolutely need a phone number also.What's stopping any of these people from sleeping close to a pay phone? Justrecord the number on the back of your hand (unless you have some nice paperon you) before you head out to the job interview. And if you really want toimpress the boss, give him the number of the pay phone nearest your favoritebegging corner or alley, just in case they can't get a hold of you at thefirst number. None would be the wiser.As for the commuting, all one would have to do is make sure the pay phoneisn't too far from business. Better yet, sleep in front of the business, neara pay phone, so you can also respond to any requests promptly and efficiently.It would also give you much more time to sleep while waiting for that firstpaycheck. Now that you must take care of the job and the finding food anddrink in the same twenty-four hour time period, you need all the sleep you canget. Having to commute through miles of busy sidewalk would make you wish youhadn't opted for a home away from work. All this being on-time and showing upso early would be sure impress the boss, especially if he already wasn'timpressed with your feat of scrounging up the resources to hold this...

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