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Why I Am A Spoon Holder

585 words - 2 pages

Who am I? What events have taken the slimy wet lump of clay I was and molded it into the cheap, tourist-trap spoon holder I am today? Well, there was this one time in kindergarten; I got in trouble for giving one of my male peers a bloody nose. In all fairness, however, he was trying to kiss me. Then, in second grade, Allen Hunter and I were punished staying immersed in our books while the rest of the class was engaging in "group time"; a synonym for positive group interaction while engaging in meaningless activities. As a second grader I was much beyond such trivial matters. After all, Paddington Bear was waiting. My most embarrassing childhood memory was my first time bra shopping. Little boys had it so easy. No flowers and bows and ribbons and jewels, no cotton or satin or silk or lace. Oh, the horror when a well-meaning mother raises her voice to say, "Oh here we are. Training bras!" Yet none of those parallel the events of December 22, 2000.It was on this day this entire world crumbled, leaving me broken and scarred. After finishing all my last minute Christmas shopping I decided to go to a party. Four friends and I crammed into a car built for two. We managed to get to the party in one piece and we went inside.As soon as I walked in the door I saw the beer and liquor flowed freely. I didn't want to drink, so I chose cranberry juice as my beverage of choice. We danced, watched TV, played with the new puppy and had a good time. All of a sudden I began...

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