Yin Yang Essay

1779 words - 7 pages

‘I’ am an in-between-er. ‘I’ is first person. ‘I’ is personal. An in-between-er exchanges two contrasting principles and exists in two contrasting aspects. As I have lived equally amount of time in China and Australia, I fond myself questioning the means of ‘being’ which the Chinese 5,000 year heritage I brought with me constantly contradicting my Australian twenty-first century living. Regardless, I live mutually dependent on my Chinese tradition and modern western civilisations. I will not exist without either cultural element.

The contrast between my background and my present condition clarifies my investigation to my question. Frequently, I feel entangled, trapped. If I make a move, I feel two forces pulling me to opposite directions. Twenty years ago, when I just settled in Sydney, if anyone asked me where I was come from, ‘I’m from Beijing, China.’ I answered straight back, no blink. Twenty years later, same question: ‘where are you from?’ I inescapable take a pause, then, either to answer: ‘from home, St Ives.’ Or to clarify the question before answering it: ‘do you mean where I was originally from?’ If I intent to stay where I am, which, unmistakably, I feel I am collapsing and dissolving. Same question asked in recent years: ‘where are you from?’ I cannot answer: ‘I’m from Beijing, China.’, because it is not the truth anymore. Although, if I visit China, Chinese people ask me if I am Australian, my short answer would be: ‘still Chinese.’ I have to deny that I am 100% Australian because I do not consider I fit in that category even I am Australian by law. The way I have been blended changed me neither an Australian nor a Chinese. I am a mere in-between-er. How do I avoid the conflicts and contradictions of being a Chinese and an Australian? Unquestionably not by restraining them or forcing them together which might suggest a compelling annex. This integration process enables both east and west cultural values which placed on my own experiences through constant changes of my body particular experiences of identities, memories, woman’s desires, emotions and intelligence.

These personal bits that I hold attached to the beginning of human existence. As an in-between-er, I feel that every day and night I am caught in the middle of repulsion and attraction from two extremes. Grown up from an affluent culture oriented family in China, I intuitively relate the two extremes to ancient Chinese yin-yang theory that was the essential concept of existences. ‘Being in shadow is Yin and being lighted by the sunlight is Yang. These two Chinese words classify all things, phenomena and inform people using the dialectic philosophical concepts. Over the 3,000 years since yin-yang was first written down, its intension gradually expanded into pairs of contrasting entities. At present, yin-yang is regarded as the property of all contradicting and unifying aspects in the universe. For example: Sun and Moon; heaven and earth; water and fire; man and...

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