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You Know What I'd Do? Anti Advice From A Teen

2214 words - 9 pages

You know what I'd do?-The Anti-Advice

Is it just me or are you sick and tired of everyone commenting on what they would do or how you should behave? conjuring up ridiculous suggestions that help with nothing but heightening the anger and annoyance that you are all ready feeling? Well, then I have good news for you. I am here to give you for once and for all, the only good advice on what to do when placed in an array of situations. So, you wanna know what I would do? Here's what I'd do!
CHAPTER ONE
Common Problems

Can't get to sleep?
Don't you just hate it when people comment on ridiculous methods of how to 'get a good nights sleep'? Take a warm bath, cut out caffeine, turn off the T.V, the ...view middle of the document...

And because of this they will be waiting, anxiously listening for the opening of a window or the clicking of a key as you try to quietly open the door. Then, the minuet they hear you they start moaning and shouting, being all boring and old and finishing off with grounding you.
So don't even think about it, instead of sneaking out, sneak in, they wont be expecting that. Kinda like reverse psychology, right? Imagine, you look down at your watch or phone and realise that you are half an hour late and begin to panic well, whatever you do DO NOT go home now, your all ready late and they will probably still be awake waiting for you to walk through the door just so they can moan (Old people love to moan, remember that!)
If you haven't got any missed calls yet just give it another ten minuets and by then you'll have more calls coming through than the emergency services. Instead you should put your phone on silent and ignore their calls. Stay out and enjoy yourself. Make sure you give it a few hours before going home or, at least until you know your parent would have gone to sleep. Then once you are finally ready to go home, all you have to do is sneak in. In the morning when they begin questioning you, all you have to do is pretend you had been asleep all along. That's what I'd do, in fact, that's what I did... and I would do it again!

Can't Find A Job?
In this day and age its hard enough as it is to find a job and the last thing we need on our plates is the added pressure of the government and our parents telling us to get out there and find work! And even if you are lucky enough to get a job in the end you'll still probably be earning next to nothing and not be able to move out and pay the bills and do the food shopping anyway. Especially once you have done the important things in life like buying new clothes, make-up and partying with all your friends, so why even bother?
You wanna know what I'd do? Instead of finding a job, why don't you try not finding a job and paying your way in life, and not doing all the other mundane activities and duties that come along with being an adult. Only an idiot would do something like getting a job and moving out anyway.
What you should do is just continue how you are now, don't change a thing, even if your parents demand you to get a job. Ignore them, that's really what they want you to do anyway so why disappoint them? You love your parents and want to keep them happy don't you? So whatever you do, do not change! Continue scrounging for money of them so you can buy all the important things in life. Like the new outfit you saw earlier or the those concert tickets oh, and don't forget that party at the weekend you just have to go to! After all, that's what really matters anyway. Trust me, parents love paying for everything for you, they don't want you to have to work hard and pay your own way in life. So don't go to work, don't move out, and don't pay your own way in life. That's what I'd do!

Don't Get An...

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