It is all wrong.
For all the beauty this custom made piece is, by your dearest friend, this is one thought you cannot banish for what is to be the happiest day of your life.
Because it is all wrong.
Every logical part of you knows that. This isn’t how it was supposed to be.
You’re not wearing the dress you always thought you would.
The one you had always dreamt of. Right from your childhood to your early adulthood, you’d sneak to peek inside mother’s closet at the piece. You’d stare for hours, taking in the exquisite meshes of lace and silk. The bodice glitters with beads. Fit for a queen.
You stare at your own reflection, almost perfect picture of a blushing bride. All you’re missing is ...view middle of the document...
A panic swells inside of you. This was no way to start a marriage. What would become of a partnership built on lies? It could only bring suffering to all.
The secrecy is so paramount that even your family cannot join on this day. To give you away to your future life. Instead, you must take the symbolic walk alone.
You’d tried to avoid this thought for so long, but can bear it no longer.
Your mother – ever the perfectionist – should be fretting over the tiniest detail, smoothing out your veil and train. Demanding you should’ve had them newly pressed and hung up the night before. You’d sigh exasperatedly, pretending not to love the fact she cares. She should be arranging the veil as you have to do so for yourself now, letting a few curls fall out of the cap.
Your father would take you by the arm, practising a steady speed at to walk you down the aisle.
Your sisters dressed in gold – declared by your youngest as the shade that matched all their complexion best.
You’re the youngest – last fall in love, and yet first to tie the knot.
The eldest of the four is set to marry upon ascension to the throne. Servants would be sent to scour the country finest dressmakers, parents happily paying for the most lavish materials and jewels.
The second eldest has long vowed never to be tied down. Even if she were to surrender to expectations, she would never stand for the frills and puffiness that adorn your mother’s legendary garment.
And the third? Beauty and fashion conscious, she would undoubtedly have wanted an original piece. You would not put it past her to fashion her own dress.
You have long been secretly thrilled at this, knowing the perfect dress for the perfect day was always ready for you tucked in the back of your mother’s closet.
Its missing presence hardly gone unnoticed until now. Strange how a childhood fantasy would be lost amongst all the tingle of excitement and nerves, only to be reverberate so strongly now.
You know you are making the right choice, as fleeting as your happiness must be.
Both of you would have to walk straight back into the mess of the world. Having so soon realised you could not lose, but have to let him go again. Not even having one full day, having no duty but of matrimony, lives being only their own.
You belong to the service of your people.
But there is no higher law than love.
That’s why you know they’ll forgive you. The heart shaped locket – the one...